Recently, I've been reconsidering my role in a couple broken relationships I have. I often make regrettable mistakes and find myself wishing I hadn't done or said a particular thing. Certainly, I haven't acted in a positive way 100% of the time. Even though I like to pretend I have. Even if it's just the energy we're putting off. If we hold on to resentment - it will show whether you think it does or not.
It is incredibly hard to forgive a person who consistently shows you they don't want to or care to change. Well, that's not my problem. My problem is the resentment I hold onto. I'm reading something on "how to deal with a resentful person". Resentment is weakness. Just keep reading... You don't have the strength to move on and let go. I don't know about anyone else but I don't want this holding me back and I certainly don't want to hold a quality that is weak when my father is the King of Kings. If I hold onto resentment, I'm hurling all the responsibility onto another person rather than accepting my role.
It's difficult to look in the mirror and realize you are doing something you don't like about yourself. This is what I asked for, though. I'm grateful for it, too. If I hadn't asked God to show me things I need to change, I may have gone on not realizing I was resentful or that I was being weak and ungracious in not freely giving forgiveness to those who deserve or don't. It's not up to me to decide who is worthy, though I'm sure I'll still try to consider it in the future.
They say acceptance is the first step. I'm not sure who "they is" but they is smart.
I'm Theresa and I am resentful towards XXX and XXX and I realize that it is unfair to myself and others to hold onto it. It can affect all my relationships and largely affects the relationships I am resentful in. Forgiveness is not the only option, forgiveness is a choice among negative ones. We have to make a decision to stop blaming others, take responsibility where responsibility is due and forgive freely as God has forgiven us.
I can promise it is infinitely easier to talk about how we should forgive than it is to actually forgive. I don't even know where I'll begin. All I know is it needs to be done and things will take a turn in these relationships from my end once I do.
If there's anything I've learned from being at this point in any relationship is to always speak up about things you know in your heart are a big deal to you. Don't let things go to keep peace, it will catch up with you in the long run and could destroy relationships. Resentment can eat away at your well being and your relationships.
Bottom line is, if we don't forgive - our hearts turn to resentment thusly wreaking havoc in basically every aspect of our life. Before you know it, it's consuming you. That's truth.
Forgiveness is for you not them.
